There everything goes! Flip! And voila, magic. Indeed. And I've gotten most of what I wanted. Fuck yeah. It's like all my envisionings of life here are presenting themselves, unfolding before me. Of course, the entire way I've been impatient and complaining but I did some work, put in a lot of faith and intention into the `verse and it's come back now. The momentum is rolling and it's happened as quickly as I hoped. OMG OMG OMG!! Wow! It's pretty fucking amazing. Thank God for all of this. A slice of pie. A sign and a complete shift in direction, the obvious poking I needed to return here. The future is still the future and have no clue whatever else but doesn't matter. I'm positively glowing form this. Way to go Sarah! Amazing. And for me to doubt her, be ungrateful, fucked up. She deserves my gratitude. She kind of lagged and needed the ammo to really be more aggressive, but that push came and had to come, from me. Timing is everything and it all kind of happened (strangely to me) exactly as if a "plan" of sorts. Executed flawlessly yet still flowing down the river. I feel bad my visit to SJ to get my stuff from Mandar wasn't more respectful and giving back to him. He did carry the burden of my shit, some of which totally a liability and I wasn't more thankful to him. Not thoughtful in the Indian or even any culture way. Too much going on. Friday. It's the right thing to do. Lunch, whatever. And yeah, now need to give back. Offer love and light in every situation. I want to be more of an authentically loving and thoughtful person, not all super concerned with me. And fuck, how did/do I treat my friends? Neeraj, Divya, etc. I've disappeared and changed the plan completely, to their chagrin. I've been sent on an clandestine mission to "escape" India in a way. Have really dishonored the friendship I have with Neeraj and now am avoiding him completely. And Divya, she annoys me really. Not the exact friend I need but good. I do feel lonely there. Frustrated a lot. Sunil is awesome to have too. But I'm done fighting to survive there emotionally and mentally. Spiritually too. I've emerged much much stronger. Amends. Realigning the balance, at least, and at most only within me with these relationships. OMG, so grateful. So fucking excited!! Fuck yeah!
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