A new book. New beginning. Minds feels rested. Yesterday went early to see Zeitz to do the check-in thing, get a prescription for the 'just-in-case' that may probably happen. I feel phenomenal. Living the dream, doing what I want to be doing. I did feel a bit manic though. Like I should've been more tired and wiped out or something having woken up so early but no, kept going, mind/body working, yet all even and mellow internally. "Plans" did fall through out the day but even better came long and I really liked that I go to go to a meeting while Aaron was off getting a massage. Felt all normal and like we can totally just do our own things together and have the house to be home base where we can join back together. And Firefly too, a great idea. I'm a bit demotivated about work, bit less enthusiasm and irritation about our daily scrum call. I just don't want to go really. I'm slowed down and maybe I'm also still recovering from a Quaker weekend. Whatever. I also think the job interviewing thing has gotten me excited too. I will tell Sarah, because it is the right thing, especially for a woman who really cares about me and wants me to succeed wherever... I don't want to let her down or anything. But she should actually know. She should in fact communicate this upwards. I need the ammo in my back pocket. I'm realizing they don't value me that much and don't recognize the amount of work and realize the complexity of it all. Just another face that they can easily replace. So if cheaper is all they're looking for, then fuck'em. It's so stupid, the way our organization is set up. I love the people and most of the time, the work. But tiring and needing options outside. I think September could be a realistic time frame. I'd have to really see with moving actual shit, dealing with employment contracts, money, etc. But I'm sure actually, in a pinch, it could done, hell in a week or two. Just make it happen. I have enough resources. Just scary to think about. Overwhelming in a way, but it happens all the time, over over the place and nothing new. Just a big change for me which is always scary. A good thing though and I feel for all the right reasons....I never really factored seriously the outdoors thing so much. Coddled by emotional actions, etc. But time to move on....wow...but I don't want to feel rushed. God's will...God's will...
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